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Joke of the Day
"What's the best kind of vegetable to bring to a party? A turn up"
Next Joke
"If I had a time machine I'd go back to Germany in 1933 and change my Facebook avatar to an anti-Nazi logo."
"What's the most sensitive part of a man's body when masturbating? His ears."
"How do depressed frogs die? They Kermit suicide."
"[Storm into Octopus Boss' office] I want a raise or I quit! [Octopus Boss is almost done camouflaging against the fern] NOT THIS TIME"
"Apparently, if you jump out of a plane wearing parachute pants, it doesn't break your fall at all. But you can carry about a hundred combs."
"As my eyesight gets worse my parents blame video games while my optometrist says it's due to the roundness of my eyeball. One way or the other, there is a stigma."
"I'd like to commit suicide to get rid of my indecisiveness but I don't wanna jump into conclusions."
"A black mom has six kids all named Leroy. She tells them apart by their different last names."
"If Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are in a boat and it capsizes. Who survives? America."