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Joke of the Day

"Why do they call it a ""roach clip""? Cause ""pot holder"" was taken."

"I slept like a rock last night meaning I woke up in the flower bed with the house key under my belly."

"I cut my little finger today... ... because I didn't like the way it looked."

"What's Mario's favorite pants? Denim Denim Denim"

"Restaurant At restaurant, We wait for a waiter to bring order... Aren,t we waiter too..."

"If a tree falls in a forest and no one hesrs it, Do the squirrels sleep sideways?"

"The doctor says to the patient ""I have horrible news."" ""I'm afraid you have cancer and Alzheimer's disease."" The patient sighs and says ""Well, at least I don't have cancer."""

"What's the difference between Finebros and Humiliation pornstars? Humiliation pornstars get the money they want."

"Genie: Sure about this? Me: C'mon do it Genie: It's your last wis- Me: I WANNA BE RICH Genie: Alakazam! Hi Rich, I'm Genie"

"OK it's like sure, I've MURDERED before. Big deal. Sue me. It's not like I'm a MURDERER or anything. I only do it socially."