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Joke of the Day

"Had a big mix up at the store today, apparently when the clerk said ""strip down facing me,"" she meant my credit card."

"If my girlfriend was a Pokemon her name would be...... Vulva-sore"

"a dating site that matches you with the perfect slice of cheesecake"

"Yo mama so fat.. I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing."

"There's plenty more fish in the sea ""Actually we've 5% the tuna we once had. 10% of sharks. 5% of cod"" I'm bad at consoling dumped friends"

"Dammit, this spermicide didn't work at all. My kids are still here and now they won't stop whining about their eyes burning"

"Why wouldn't anyone play with the little longhorn? He was too much of a bully!"

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because seven was a registered six offender"

"Why is buying a macbook like using a high end prostitute? Because you spend more but, at least you don't get a virus"

"Ignoring your text is easy. It's having to park my car 8 blocks away so you think I'm not home when you drive by that's awkward."