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Joke of the Day

"How do you become invisible? Get a child and then perform sex-altering surgery. Then you become a transparent."

"What do you call a tight butthole? a noose"

"*rubs lamp* Genie: ""you get three wishes"" Me: ""I wish I wasn't so alone"" Genie: ""k wow I'm like right here"""

"What does Mrs Claus say to Santa when he's not spending enough time with her? You're getting too wrapped up in your work!"

"My cat just wrote the Great American Novel. Let me read you a page, ""Meow meow meow meow meow meow."" Dunno, think it's a little pretentious."

"Why did the cow go moo? [NSFW] Because (s)he's a fucking cow."

"What do you call an oval with a speech impediment? An Elipshhh"

"What did the papa ghost say to the baby ghost. Fasten your sheet belt."

"A family of freudians have a problem... It was complex to say the least."

"[drops capsule in woman's drink] Maybe when that's finished, we can get out of here? [green sponge dinosaur grows out of glass] Ready to go?"