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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an oval with a speech impediment? An Elipshhh"

"Why are millionaires bad at swimming? Because they drown at their own wealth Edit: I got down voted :( I thought of that in my head and just wanted to share it"

"If I were a fashion designer I wouldn't spend any money on advertising but rather pay old people to wear my competitor's clothing"

"Two ships crashed in the night one ship was carrying red paint the other blue The survivors were marooned"

"How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I dunno, but the real question is how'd they get in there in the first place?"

"HOT SINGLES NEAR YOU BURNING SINGLES NEAR YOU 1ST DEGREE BURNED SINGLES NEAR YOU DEAD SINGLES NEAR YOU WHY DIDN'T YOU HELP"

"Where are you from? ""So where are you from?"" ""I'm a Liberian"" ""Oh sorry"" \*whispers* ^""where ^are ^you ^from?"""

"What do you call a peaceful Bruce Lee? Gent Lee (Gently)"

"What's it called when you poke a Scantron to make it laugh? A test tickle."

"My girlfriend looked at me with her sexy eyes So, my girlfriend looked at me with her sexy eyes and said, ""I want you to make me scream with only two fingers baby"".... so I poked her in the eyes."