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Joke of the Day

"What does Mrs Claus say to Santa when he's not spending enough time with her? You're getting too wrapped up in your work!"

"Republicans believe every day is the 4th of July... Democrats believe every day is April 15."

"I can't help but think that The Last Supper must have been a bit tense... ...with Jesus relating the bread to his broken skin and the wine to his own blood. I bet no one touched the meatballs."

"Your mama so stupid she thought Dick Cheney was a way to keep a man around."

"Why is Santa's sack so big? Testicular cancer"

"Did you hear about the truck that spilt concrete across the road? It wasn't cement to happen."

"Two packets of crisps were walking down the street. A car slows down beside them and asks if they wanted a ride to where they were going. The crisps replied 'no, we're Walkers'"

"I once knew a guy... I once knew a man who gave up smoking, drinking alcohol, eating rich food and sex. He lived healthy until he killed himself."

"Tighty-whities are like cheap hotels No ballroom."

"Why can't PC gamers use Uber? Too many incompatible drivers."