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Joke of the Day

"The downside of studying law: you think a lawsuit is the solution to all problems. *resists from threatening Dominos for not giving oregano*"

"Dad, i know I'm adopted Hi adopted, im not dad."

"What do you call a cat who steals someone's identity? An impawster."

"""The toilet's blocked pretty bad so I called the plumber. Should be here later tod-"" [Bowser spits coffee] ""Which plumber?"""

"What did the red dog say to the blue dog? Nothing, dogs can't speak."

"What's the difference in Xbox One and your mother? I genuinely care about your mother."

"What is the one army in the world that could defeat the US army in a war? The Reddit army!"

"She once called me bae so I had to baeurry her in my backyard.."

"Think what you will about Obama, But so far he's the best black president we've ever had."

"How do you circumcise a priest? Kick a little boy in the jaw."