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Joke of the Day

"How do you say Philippines in Ebonics? Colombia"

"[being murdered] Me: did you get that knife out of the dishwasher Murderer: ...yes Me: and you didnt empty it Murderer: [murder roles reverse]"

"Education is a team effort There's no 'i' in 'illiteracy'!"

"I'm no longer interested in self-discovery; I'm more interested in self-medication."

"Why do old men need Viagra? Because they are screwing old women!"

"182,000 Americans die from Chuck Norris-related accidents every year."

"I lost all my Pokemon cards in a house fire I only have Ash now."

"I regret joining the gym recently.. leaving the EU would've been a more effective way to lose pounds"

"Got a secondhand robot. Practically good as new! Just a few nicks and scratches, and a tendency to murder."

"Judas: Still on for friday? ""Jesus: friday?"" ""Judas: Yeah, the Last Supper."" ""Jesus: The what?"" ""Judas: Supper. Normal supper with the fellas."""