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Joke of the Day

"Judas: Still on for friday? ""Jesus: friday?"" ""Judas: Yeah, the Last Supper."" ""Jesus: The what?"" ""Judas: Supper. Normal supper with the fellas."""

"I took a girl with microcephaly out on a date... I was hoping to get a little head."

"What State do you go to to ask questions? Al-ask-ya"

"Q: What does a computer eat when it's hungry? A: Chips -- one byte at a time."

"Yesterday I went to a temporary tattoo parlour to get a tattoo After it wouldn't wash off this morning I went back to complain, but the tattoo parlour wasn't there."

"Christmas is becoming more and more commercialised every year. Pushing up prices in every sector This tweet is brought to you by Tesco"

"What is a Men's Rights activist's idea of foreplay? Trying to argue a prostitute into accepting a credit card."

"Tell 'em how it 'tis, not how it 'twas: Edition 1. It used to be the joke was ""If ya lick 'er, it's quicker"" Now it's: if ya drug 'er, ya fug 'er."

"I'm getting my wife's name tattooed on my penis So I can keep beating her long after she's gone (I'm so sorry)"

"I wonder if stereotypically romantic Spanish characters...talk in pauses...because they learned...how to speak English...by watching...the subtitles...of romantic movies."