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Joke of the Day

"Math is so communist... ...There's class struggle for Marx"

"My wife is so ugly... Our towels say ""His"" and ""Its""!"

"Q: Did you hear about the Polak who thought his wife was trying to kill him? A: On her dressing table he found a bottle of ""Polish Remover""."

"Actually Frankenstein was the name of the scientist. I, the person correcting you on this trivial point, am the monster."

"What is the difference between a zebra and a bar? Zebras have bars around their asshole, and there are assholes around the bars."

"is your name melissa? ""yes"" are you married? ""to you sadly"" yes or no please ""yes"" do you like the lie detector I bought for your birthday?"

"Why is it Windows 10 and not 9? because 7 ate 9."

"[Anteater eats some termites] [looks up to heaven] ""YOU DON'T CONTROL ME, GOD! YOU HEAR ME? I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU NAMED ME!"""

"Why didn't Sean Connery get his roof fixed? He said he ""couldn't find a shingle person to do it."""

"What do you get when you cross a fish with no eyes? PETA"