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Joke of the Day

"My wife is so ugly... Our towels say ""His"" and ""Its""!"

"Generally, all generalisations are false."

"Thank god this election is over. .....I almost forgot what real commercials were like."

"My friend told me he was flying on a plane for the first time. I told him to have a blast."

"Hot shingles in your area are looking to give your dermatomes a painfully good time!"

"Dear airlines, spend less money making cutesy safety videos and pass those savings on to your customers. Wouldn't that be cool?"

"A man is at the gates of hell. Satan: Your card please, so you may enter. Man: *swipes card* Satan: It's a chip."

"What's got four legs and one arm? An attack dog in a preschool."

"I bet Hell is sitting in front of every person you know while a slideshow of all of your deleted selfies is played on a loop."

"The Chuck Norris' action figure has slept with more women than most men."