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Joke of the Day

"Q: Did you hear about the Polak who thought his wife was trying to kill him? A: On her dressing table he found a bottle of ""Polish Remover""."

"If ""bae"" means bacon and eggs then yes, I'm chilling with my bae"

"""Sure Chief, you can join us for dinner this year. But in the future, you're gonna need reservations."" -Pilgrims, at the first Thanksgiving"

"What do you call a gay Asian? Caucasian"

"I got the opportunity to taste some Wookiee steak today It was a little Chewie."

"What are your best political jokes?"

"No Valentine On Valentines Day? Don't worry if you don't have a valentine on valentine's day.. Most people don't even have AIDS on World AIDS day.."

"Thanks to Target's full length 3 way mirrors, I'm now painfully aware I look like a melting candle from the back."

"I shit so hard.... .... If it was an abortion it would be illegal"

"I replaced the glass in my bathroom windows so the tree outside can see exactly what I do with toilet paper. You know what paper is? I yell"