87180

Joke of the Day

"is your name melissa? ""yes"" are you married? ""to you sadly"" yes or no please ""yes"" do you like the lie detector I bought for your birthday?"

"What do girls and noodles have in common? They both wiggle when you eat them"

"A woman made a book about gardening.. Her name was *Theresa Green*."

"""Masturbation"" is such a harsh word. I prefer ""Hand-to-gland combat""."

"And the award for worst sentence I've ever read, ""Kid Rock apologized for smoking a cigar at a non-smoking Travis Tritt concert in Detroit."""

"What do women's breasts and toy trains have in common? A: They're both intended for children... But, it's usually the father that play with them the most!"

"What did Hitler say to the Chinese food delivery guy that stole his Chinese food? MEIN LOMEIN!"

"How do you cause a riot at a cat show? Open a can"

"You know my grandfather died in a Nazi prison camp? He died falling off a watch tower"

"A guy came up to me in the street today... ...and asked me if I wanted to enter a raffle for cancer? I thought, ""what a shit prize..."""