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Joke of the Day

"A member of the undead said I was prejudiced against his kind... It's simply not true. I have lots of wight friends."

"There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary code and those who do not."

"Why don't you hire a violinist as your babysitter? Because he might fiddle with your kids."

"My life would have been very different had I done anything with the same intensity as brushing my teeth on the day of a dentist appointment."

"When my ex worked out of town, he would take my vibrators away from me. Said I was cheating on him w/them. He shoulda taken his brother too."

"Q: Why is everyone tired of the king playing video poker on his porcelain throne? A: Cause they're sick of all his royal flushes."

"That which does not kill me has been everything so far."

"Gemini: You may find yourself wondering if you're dreaming or not. A simple test is to punch a cop in the face."

"Why did Trump refuse the debate with Bernie? Because chickens tend to run from people with a last name of Sanders."

"My brother was born backwards... His nose runs and his feet smell."