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Joke of the Day

"Two flies are eating on crap. One of the flies farts, to which the second fly replies "" Do you mind ? I'm eating here !!"""

"Empire Strikes Back is still my favorite StarWars episode. One could say it is a perfect 5/7."

"So i met a hooker today who said she would do anything for five bucks Guess who got their homework done!"

"Typos... that's just how I role."

"My doctor said I have about a month left. So I stabbed him. The judge gave me ten to fifteen years. Crisis averted."

"What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in it's eye? Chicken caesar salad."

"A lion offspring asked his dad ""What is a world series?"" ""I don't expect you to understand son, you are just a Cub"""

"Why was the tallest man in the world troubled? Because he had no one to look up to."

"My wife says I was wasted last night and honestly I don't think she's buying my story about having to be naked to guard the neighbors porch."

"My wife's online shopping downstairs so I'm upstairs logged on to the same site and deleting everything in her cart."