5779

Joke of the Day

"Typos... that's just how I role."

"[skydiving, first jump] INSTRUCTOR: everyone ready? EAGLE: yes. HAWK: check. SPARROW: ready. PENGUIN: this is a really bad idea."

"Court decision: ""I hereby find you guilty of clickbait, and sentence you to death by electric chair... ... What happens next will shock you"""

"Why do elephants eat raw food ? Because they don't know how to cook !"

"What do you call a black guy flying a plane? a pilot, you racist."

"So my great-grandpa died at Auschwitz.... An overused joke fell on top of him and crushed him."

"BANK: Someone made fraudulent charges w/ ur debit card ME: How'd you know it wasn't me B: They entered the PIN correctly 1st try M: Dear god"

"My wife Googled ""how responsible does a 10yr old need to be to stay at home without a babysitter"" and now she won't let me stay home alone."

"I'm sorry, I live in the U.S. so I don't really get the metric system. How much exactly is ""in moderation""?"

"TIL the first commodity traded across the USA was jaweia. Lewis and Clark brought a sack of it with them on their expedition to the Pacific coast."