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Joke of the Day

"My wife's online shopping downstairs so I'm upstairs logged on to the same site and deleting everything in her cart."

"A man walks into a bar The bartender says ""watch where you're going"""

"Doctor: ""Well, Mrs Jones, you are eating for two now!"" Kate: ""I'm pregnant?!"" Doctor: ""No. You have a tapeworm."""

"if anyone has reason for these two not to wed, speak now or forever hold y- [brides dad stands up] ""SHE BRUSHES HER TEETH WITH HOT WATER"""

"I'd make an excellent cavewoman because I can finger paint and light fires."

"How many Redditors does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One + all... One to screw in the lightbulb, the rest just bitch that it is a repost."

"I hope it's true that girls eventually turn into their mothers, because this girl I just ran over has a mother who's alive."

"While deep-sea diving I was strangled by an octopus The whole experience was rather breathtaking."

"What do fish talk about at work? Current events"

"I like my coffee how i like my women, Without a dick."