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Joke of the Day

"Why doesn't Fleetwood Mac shave? Because Stevie Nicks."

"I meant to call out a plumber to fix my blocked toilet, but forgot. I'm in deep shit now."

"I find it quite sexy to see cum dribbling out of a girl's vagina. But not if I've just taken off her knickers."

"Guy walks into a doctors office.. Guy walks into a doctor's office, wearing nothing but saran wrap. The doctor looked at him and said ""Clearly, I can see your nuts."" (Buddum-bum)"

"Whenever I shut down my computer, it asks, ""Are you sure you want to shut down your computer?"" Then I wonder if it knows something I don't."

"My mirror and my camera have two completely different ideas of what I look like!"

"Apparently you can survive just by eating plants. That's something I haven't herbivore."

"Why is being a pirate addictive? They say that after you lose your first hand, you get hooked!"

"The Maitre'D asked if we had reservations... I said, ""Yes, but when you're as hungry as we are you throw caution to the wind!"""

"What is a pirates favorite letter? You think it'd be R, but his true love is the C."