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Joke of the Day

"I find it quite sexy to see cum dribbling out of a girl's vagina. But not if I've just taken off her knickers."

"I was in the pharmacy today... A man approached me offering either a blue pill or a red pill. I didn't know staying in false reality gave you a 24 hour erection."

"Bae: Are you coming over? Me: Yes, I'm coming over. - Me and Bae having CB Radio sex"

"President, first day on the job: *pushing a button* Janet can you- [two nuclear missiles launch towards Moscow] That wasn't the intercom."

"A man walks into a restaurant and asks, ""You got any spare ribs?"" The owner says, ""Nope. I need all of mine."""

"Help! I need a communist christmas one liner! Going to a Christmas party with a communist christmas sweater. Need a good one liner... help!"

"Who is Gary Johnson? I don't Aleppknow"

"A Canadian walks into a bar A metal bar. BANG! ""Sorry!"" says the Canadian."

"Trust us: the feminine form of 'ghostbuster' is 'ghostbuster'."

"Last Man on Earth star Will Fortes wife just gave birth a a girl.. They named her Kia"