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Joke of the Day

"Research shows vacuum cleaners can cause hearing loss. ""You should absolutely get rid of that monster,"" said one furry, panting scientist."

"How do you please an Amish woman? Give her two Mennonite"

"Thought of this one as I was going to the basement. What does the commander say to the firing squad when they go camping? Ready, aim, make the FIRE!"

"I love meeting new people. Meating. I love meating new people."

"I used to get my dad so angry as a kid. I knew that once he took that belt off there was nothing i could do... to keep him from shooting heroin"

"I DON'T WANT YOUR PITY but I'll take it."

"HR: Did you call an employee stupid? Me: No, I asked if he knew he was stupid."

"CNN is running a spot called ""Why Tsumanis are Dangerous"". They should follow it with a spot on ""Why Journalism Is Dead""."

"My Ex-Wife still misses me BUT HER AIM IS GETTING BETTER!"

"What's the difference between Helen Keller and a redneck Helen Keller got famous for not being able to read"