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Joke of the Day

"I'm selling my talking parrot. Why? Because yesterday, the bastard tried to sell me."

"What do you call a kid with no arms and legs playing baseball? 2^nd base."

"Why did the boy become an astronaut? Because he was told he was no earthly good."

"Maybe I'd bother with cologne if my natural scent didn't make even elderly women violently ovulate."

"What's the difference between parsley and pussy? Who eats parsley?"

"I went for a run in morning but came home after 2 minutes coz I forgot something I forgot that I'm so fat that I can only run for 2 minutes"

"A bot walks into a sub and orders a rum and coke... [Removed]"

"How is it called when you get a blowjob from Oliver Queen? arrow head"

"Pancake in Spanish is panqueque, which translates back into English as *does raise the roof motion* bread whaaaat whaaaat"

"What do you call an Irish midget? Whatever their name is, you insensitive jerk."