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Joke of the Day

"What do Koreans need when they take out the dog? Oven mitts"

"The average person swallows over 4,000 spiders each year. More than that. Tens of thousands. Hundreds of thousands of spiders. It's crazy."

"REPUBLICAN (running for office): We need to make haircuts safer! REPUBLICAN (in office): Haircuts will only be done using chainsaws."

"Debit card was repeatedly declined at the grocery store today. I was trying to buy vegetables so the bank just assumed the card was stolen"

"I tried learning braille, but it was really tough. Those bumps are hard to see"

"I visited Detroit recently. I love the smell of the ol' factories."

"What happened when Dumbo went to a mindrreader? They gave him his money back."

"I saw a sign that said ""watch for children"" and I thought.. .. ""That sounds like a fair trade"""

"A black guy walks into a bar. And he found himself with a headache as he couldn't read the CONSTRUCTION sign"

"Facebook needs a button that's the equivalent of kicking someone under the table to stop them from making a fool of themselves."