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Joke of the Day

"Why didn't the Mexican guy at work take out the trash at work when I asked him? He had *senor*-ity!"

"[Ouija Board] Me: Spirit, answer this one questiondo you like me? Board: R E A D 1 2 : 3 7 P M"

"Was just reading a new book with a great female hero And I can say I'm addicted to this heroine."

"Why are all those people running? A: Why are all those people running? B: They are running a race to get a cup. A: Who will get the cup? B: The person who wins. A: Then why are all the others running?"

"Would you get your phone if you dropped it in a toilet? 1996: eww that's gross 2016: head first without thinking"

"What do chickens say? Cock-a-doodle-doo What does a chicken in the bathroom say? Doodle-doodle-cock What does a gay chicken say? Any-cock'll-do"

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Don't be silly, feminists don't change anything."

"What's the definition of ""relative humidity"" in Arkansas? The amount of sweat you can lick off your fathers balls after sex."

"You know what they said about the year old sheep that kept getting into trouble... ...he was a mutton for punishment."

"Why does Teller piss everyone off when he leaves a party? Goes without saying"