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Joke of the Day

"You know what they said about the year old sheep that kept getting into trouble... ...he was a mutton for punishment."

"Don't tell me I look tired unless you're offering to carry me"

"Picking up this tiny piece of paper would take 1 second but instead I'm going to run over it 100 times with the vacuum at different angles."

"One day long, long ago... ...there lived a woman who did not whine, nag, or bitch. But it was a long time ago, and just for that one day. The End."

"IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got."

"Did you know that Lorena Bobbit was originally from Russia? Her given name was Lorena Cutyourcockoff."

"Waiter what is this cockroach doing on my ice cream sundae ? Skiing sir !"

"What is a salad's favorite type of road? A bowl-ivard"

"""Remember six seconds ago when you were comfortable?"" - oscillating fans"

"OK I made a new one! How do Mexicans warm their houses in the winter months? Central Fajiting."