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Joke of the Day
"I may be middle-class, but I'm hard. *Al dente*, you might say. **Jimmy Carr**"
Next Joke
"Two thieves were caught with a load of stolen batteries and fireworks... ...one of them was charged, and the other was let off."
"Why did Vader deceive everyone about his love affair with the Emperor? Because he was in Sidious."
"Bernie Sanders is elected president </joke>"
"What do you call a statue of a ballsack? A scrotum totem"
"How did pirates communicate before the internet? Pier to Pier Networking"
"I made a huge mistake I took my girlfriend to Subway, when she got her six inch sub, she looked at me and she instantly knew that I've been lying to her for years."
"Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, ""I think I've lost my electron."" The other says, ""Are you sure?"" The first replies, ""Yes, I'm positive..."""
"Jimmy Kimmel should have Floyd Mayweather read mean tweets after the fight Oh wait"
"I finally got a housekeeper. it's my ex-wife. She kept the house."