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Joke of the Day

"I went to an extremely traditional cannibal wedding this weekend It was an edible arrangement."

"What did the Jewish baby say to the Rabbi? Keep the tip."

"ME: *sees a puppy* BRAIN: Your backpack could fit a puppy."

"Why did the proctologist have his cars towed to the auto repair shop? He rectum."

"So the other day I was throat fucking a black chick She said ""I can't breathe!"" I said ""Honey, lets not make this political."""

"Why was 9 afraid of 7? Because 7 had some PCP and was going ape shit!"

"Q: What did one mountain say to the other mountain after an earthquake? A: It's not my fault."

"Most people have 32 teeth, some have 10. It's simple meth."

"If I heard the person in charge of autocorrect on iPhones was that kid who fainted during the 2004 National Spelling Bee, I'd believe it."

"If life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, then lets get wasted and have the time of our lives."