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Joke of the Day

"Just observed a dwarf making a complaint at customer service. He said ""I'm not happy"" I leaned in and asked ""Then which one are you?"""

"Me: ""I need a home improvement loan."" Banker: ""What will you be using the money for?"" Me: ""A divorce lawyer."""

"What do Jewish pedophiles say? ""Hey kids, want to buy some candy?"""

"There are 10 types of people in this world Those who understand binary, those who don't, and those who where expecting a ternary joke."

"16 Sodium atoms walk into a bar... Followed by Batman."

"Auto correct changed ""absence"" to ""absinthe"" and now my kid's school won't let me be on the PTA."

"Have you heard about McDonald's new Hillary Clinton Value Meal? Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it."

"Why did the blonde start rubbing toothpaste on her vagina? She heard it helps reduce cavities."

"What is the difference between a politician and a mortician? A Mortician waits until after you're dead to fuck you."

"If you're behind someone at an ATM, let them know you're not a threat by gently kissing their neck."