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Joke of the Day

"If I heard the person in charge of autocorrect on iPhones was that kid who fainted during the 2004 National Spelling Bee, I'd believe it."

"Even death can't get you out of the friend zone... she'll be at your funeral like ""he was like a brother to me"""

"I can't look my former prostitute partner in the face since someone e-mailed me pics of her in the old days. Never look giffed whores in the mouth."

"I wanted to throw an earth day party... But I forgot to planet"

"Why couldn't Hillary Clinton keep up her US presidential campaign? She was let down by a weak Constitution."

"What do Trees do in Autumn? Take a Leaf of absence."

"What do you call a blad man with dandruff? A Snowglobe!"

"I invested some money with a Nigerian Prince... he turned out to be a very successful tribute act!"

"A friend and I walked past an Alzheimers Society. He turned to me and said ""How do they remember where it is""?"

"It's sad that, because of cell phones, kids today will never know what it's like to choke their friends with a phone cord."