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Joke of the Day

"Me: I save a bunch of time by not having to tie my shoes. Her: What do you do with the time saved? Me: *tying my dogs shoes* Sorry, what?"

"Why is childbirth called ""delivery"" and not ""take out?"""

"I give myself an excuse for watching porn. By pretending I'm watching ""How it's made: Babies"" on youtube."

"What do you say to a Female comedian who has just had a miscarriage? ""You should work on your delivery""."

"Pro tip: The Labor Day weekend is a great time to start drafting your Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas tweets."

"I told my dad I didn't want to walk all the way there... ...He said: ""That's a lame excuse""."

"What's the difference between an artist and a large pizza? A large pizza can feed a family of four."

"Lot's Wife We've all heard the story. No one can blame her if she felt any resentment. Some say, after all these years, she's still pretty salty about it."

"Blow job vs. Mount Everest What does getting a blow job from a 70 year old woman and jumping down from Mount Everest have in common? You don't dare to look down, but you feel the rush."

"Why is 6 afraid of 7 Cos 7 has Ebola."