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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between an artist and a large pizza? A large pizza can feed a family of four."

"Hang in there Dave At the rate that all the celebrities are dying let's hope Dave doesn't die before the years up, it'd be devastating"

"It's all fun and games until you accidently grab the hand sanitizer instead of the lube."

"A Prius just tried to race me from a stop sign. I totally had it for the first 100 feet, but I can only walk so fast."

"My electric toothbrush broke so now I have to use my acoustic one"

"If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times does he become disoriented?"

"What is one of the funniest simple joke you have ever heard? Literally... made you die laughing e.g. Why did the monkey fall of the tree? bc it died e.g. How do you keep an idiot in suspense?"

"What did Mike Tyson say to Vincent van Gogh?? You gonna eat that?"

"I like my women like how I like my coffee beans Ground and stored in the freezer."

"""will you be paying with cash or credit?"" ""Cash"" *start playing ""ring of fire"" on my kazoo *gets tackled by security*"