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Joke of the Day

"Is your refrigerator running? Cause I might vote for it."

"I'm busier than... a Catholic priest at a church lock in."

"Girlfriend kept nagging me to take her home to meet my family, so I did. Her and my wife aren't getting along."

"Why didn't the schizo cross the road He was in two minds about it."

"Thought of this whilst snacking. If one chick pea kills another chick pea... Is that considered Humuscide?"

"What is Hillary Clintons least favourite instrumeny? The trump-et."

"What do a frozen beer, a burnt pizza, and a pregnant girl have in common? Failure to pull out in time"

"You could completely eliminate the semicolon key and 90% of America wouldn't notice... until they needed to wink at somebody."

"Why did Holden Caulfield hate his job at Sprint? He was surrounded by phone-ys!"

"Who was the dankest dictator of all time? LMao Zedong"