213026

Joke of the Day

"What do fishermen say on Halloween? ""Trick-or-trout!"""

"How do you know when a movie is going to be shitty? There are more than 1 SNL cast members in it"

"I've asked a flight attendant to change my seat because of crying baby next to me It turns out you can't do that if baby is yours."

"I have come up with a truly fantastic business idea for Malaysia Airlines. A new slogan! ""Leaving on a jet plane, don't know if I'll be back again."""

"So this guy asked me why I was stirring my coffee with my dick... I told him, ""Shut up, I ordered a small for a reason!"""

"The Superbowl made me feel like I was camping. It was intense."

"*walks into the hottest restaurant w/out a reservation* We're fully booked ""Ahem, I'm Yelp reviewer TURDBONER69"" Sorry sir right this way"

"When I die... I just want 2016 to be my pallbearer, so it can let me down one last time."

"What do lesbian couples do once a month? Finger paint."

"*Japanese Zen garden tour* Guide: It's important to be quiet & not disturb the- *Me from back eating huge bag of chips*: DUDE WE CANT HEAR U"