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Joke of the Day

"I lied awake all last night waiting for the sun to come up... And then it dawned on me."

"What do triangles do in the summer? They tan."

"Everyone at this party is talking like a pilot.. ...they all keep saying they have to take off in the morning."

"The S7's are exploding as much as Muslims in the middle east."

"A man asks his friend to stop telling animal puns. His friend says ""Sorry, it's a bad rabbit I have."""

"I'm Anti-Choice. I think EVERY woman should have an abortion."

"Years ago I tried on my sister's bra, couldn't undo the clasp & was too embarrassed to ask for help. I'm still wearing it. I live in shame."

"What do you call a homosexual man on roller skates? Rolaids."

"If I were a homeless guy, I'd walk up behind young women, put my arm around them & cop a feel on a boob because I have nothing to lose."

"[looking at wife's tombstone] today would've been our anniversary *falls to knees* why did I pre-buy her tombstone causing her to divorce me"