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Joke of the Day

"When those Subway ""$5 Footlong"" commercials come on, every man is quietly calculating how much his penis is worth."

"I don't get why men always want have sex with women. The women are always on the receiving end."

"I wish I would have listened to my grandma when she told me one day I'd regret not focusing harder on my hitman career."

"What do you call a black woman who has an abortion? A crime fighter"

"You can be anyone you want on twitter, so I'm a little surprised so many guys chose ""creepy weird dude."""

"What do you call a road that doesn't care about anyone? A psycho-path."

"A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says ""hey! We have a drink named after you!"" And the grasshopper says ""You have a drink named Steve?!"""

"What does a lifeguard and a manager of a Curves have in common? They both watch whales."

"I only star inspirational tweets from 15 year-old white girls, because they've obviously got the deepest insight into the human experience."

"What's the difference between a whore and Nickleback? A whore doesn't always suck cock."