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Joke of the Day

"""You know, when I was a surgeon in the army my nickname was Nodoc."" It's what my patients always told me before they went under."

"Following my vasectomy my urologist told me to return with a sample after I had ejaculated 40 times Ok Doc. See you tomorrow morning!"

"My only fitness goal is to look good enough where if I ever posed naked people wouldn't see it and say, ""Wow, that's so brave of him."""

"""You're bleeding because you don't floss"" Me: No, I'm bleeding because I ate the entire bowl of deceivingly fake fruit in your waiting room."

"A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer..... ........ than the men who mention it."

"I was accused of illegally downloading the entirety of Wikipedia I told them I could explain everything"

"On allegations of Mayweather beating his wife... He was undefeated, he couldn't let her win."

"I had a dream about Captain Crunch It was really cereal"

"Guys, leave 3 notes scattered around ur house for ur girlfriend that say ""Will"", ""you"", & ""me."" That'll keep her busy while u watch sports."

"How are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work."