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Joke of the Day

"What was used to grow crops on Mars in the movie Martian? Good Shit"

"My wife has two weeks left to live... Then I'm going to stab her."

"If porno was realistic, there would be kids knocking on the door yelling that spongebob was on a commercial break."

"Can you spell a pretty girl with two letters? QT (cutey)."

"My dad, contemplating Brexit and the board game Risk, ""Well, Europe has always been hard to hold."""

"Seal walks into a club ..."

"why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7,8,9."

"I can never seem to get a good picture of wheat. It always comes out grainy"

"In this economy I sometimes have to make tough choices. Like between eating or buy that cover for my iPad."

"Q: What does pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common? A: Both can smell it but can't eat it."