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Joke of the Day

"Special shout-out to various coworkers for keeping me warm during this chilly weather by wearing perfume that burns my eyes and lungs."

"How much liquor does it take before you start telling racist jokes? For me, it's about three fifths."

"My sex life is just like Star Wars It's either Han Solo, or I have to use force."

"My car is probably the most expensive bird toilet I own."

"What do you call a little Lannister when winter finally comes? Peter Shrinklage"

"I used to drink all brands of beer. Now, I am older Budweiser!"

"something that I miss about being a child is people asking me what my favourite shape is. adults don't do this.it's a rhombus. u don't care"

"What do you get a kid without arms for Christmas? Gloves, but he doesn't know that yet.. since he can't open it."

"How come nobody created this obvious children's toy? Squeaky Fromme dolls. Think about it. They'd make good doggie chew toys too...."

"Why should you slow down to let another car move into your lane? good karma."