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Joke of the Day

"You know my grandfather died in a Nazi prison camp? He died falling off a watch tower"

"Which video game would Adolf Hitler play? Mein Kraft"

"Dave is coming over. Dave from work or loud and obvious Dave? Outside: THIS RAIN HAS MADE ME WET. I AM WEARING PANTS. MY EYES ARE BLINKING."

"At the library: Librarian: you have 45 cents in late fees. Me: (adjusts bow tie then slides 50 cents across the table) Keep the change"

"I feel I can empathise with Harambe a lot I too have been shot at whilst molesting kids"

"I like to lie down on the top of a hill, then tumble down to the bottom. That's just the way I roll."

"Whoever said nothing is impossible is a liar. I've been doing nothing for years."

"Where do mermaids go to see movies? ...The dive-in"

"Is it too much to ask for an attractive hot stalker....I mean, come on, seriously!"

"It must get awkward when someone by accident makes one of those ""I let him get away with murder"" jokes around O.J Simpson."