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Joke of the Day

"A guy told me he wanted to go to a costume party dressed as an Italian island. I told him, ""Ah, don't be Sicily."""

"It's pretty silly to be afraid of spiders when most of them have probably never answered a text message with a phone call."

"Marriage is like a tattoo. You say it's for ever but we all know there are ways & means of ditching it. It'll just be painful and expensive."

"I couldn't think of any good Arnold Schwarzenegger jokes right now, but when I do I'll be back."

"TIFU by accidentally making a private message a public comment revealing my Jalapeno and Cheese Recipe. It was nacho business reddit."

"Monica Lewinsky's favorite Green Bay Packer? Clinton-Dix"

"I recently won the local innuendo competition after coming from behind."

"On my 5 year old's report card it said, ""He is encouraged to ask more questions"". ARE YOU KIDDING ME."

"It's a do or dive for Robben as Netherlands play Argentina in the semifinals."

"How do you get a job with Apple? Be born in China."