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Joke of the Day

"I was going to write a book about my knowledge of tea.. But i decided against it since it would only be a Novel Tea."

"A Scotsman walks out of a bar. ..."

"I had a threesome with two girls. They said they were 28 years old... How was I supposed to know they meant combined? They really look like adults, especially the 20-years old"

"Why was the cow scared about going into the slaughter house? His life was at stake. Badum psh."

"I own the world only talking dog... but he only talks about outer layers of trees."

"What do you call a farmer in the army? E.I. G.I Joe."

"I had a threesome planned for Valentines Day... There were a couple of no-shows, but I had a good time anyway."

"I don't understand why death row inmates are given their choice of meal before they're executed. ""I have to die tomorrow, but I get TACOS!"""

"What did water say when it found out hydrogen is a diatomic? H2? Oh!"

"[coming home from cinema] Don't let that ninja film go to your head again. *roundhouse kicks the light switch on* ""I won't"""