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Joke of the Day

"I had a threesome with two girls. They said they were 28 years old... How was I supposed to know they meant combined? They really look like adults, especially the 20-years old"

"I've decided to move to southern France... I've got nothing Toulouse."

"I bet Flo Rida sometimes wishes he went with the name 'In Diana' instead."

"Weather channel: It's going to get up into the mid-30's this afternoon but it'll still feel like it's in the teens. Me: Literally me."

"President Trump! What about the aliens from space? We need a ROOF!"

"Sleep deprivation- because sometimes you cant afford drugs or alcohol but still want to feel delusional and irrational."

"Charities - Because nothing shows how far your 2/month could go than a 100 million advertising campaign."

"What do you call the surgery when a woman gets a sex change? Addadictomy"

"I used to steal identities... You people are so boring I ended up returning them."

"I had doubts about buying a big metal cabinet with a locking door for my guns It turned out to be a safe purchase."