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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a farmer in the army? E.I. G.I Joe."

"The kidnapper rang and said ""10,000 and you get your wife back"" ""Negotiate with him!"" advised the policeman ""20,000 and she's all yours"""

"Why do so many girls wear sweaters that say 'SuperDry'... It's not like us boys wear sweaters saying 'micropenis'"

"How many cops does it take to change a light bulb?"

"I'm a very old fashioned kind of guy (i'll kill you and steal your spices)"

"Q:Of the set; 689 and 986, which is larger? A) 689 B)986 C) Who cares, as long as they are having a good time!"

"Did you hear that NASA recently put a bunch of Holsteins into low earth orbit? They called it the herd shot 'round the world."

"""Sir, do you have any dietary restrictions?"" *unbuttons pants* ""Not anymore!"""

"My brother just asked me what 'FAP' meant... Shit! Now I am starting to regret leaving comments on his missus facebook pics."

"Orange Soda I've always dreamt of having a cock as long as a 2 litre bottle of orange soda, and just as wide. It's just Fanta-sea really"