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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a farmer in the army? E.I. G.I Joe."

"What has tiny balls and screws old ladies? A bingo machine you sick fuck"

"Are you serious? It's hard to tell because of all the botox."

"Screamed in horror as I woke to find two severed horse heads in my bed, but then laughed remembering I hadn't removed the one from yesterday"

"i wish my grandmother was alive to see the iPad air her mind would have been absolutely BLOWN AWAY. she loved her gen 4 iPad."

"When someone tells me that they have no life I usually respond with this... Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A Select Start"

"Why don't you buy sunscreen from Steve Irwin? Because it doesn't protect you from harmful rays"

"Wives are also like hurricanes... When they come they're wet and wild, when they leave they take your house and your car."

"What's ten inches long and white? Not a damn thing! I thought it was time we had some racist jokes towards someone who isn't black for once ;D"

"I tried to make a smoothie for lunch. Apparently, three frozen pizzas will break a juicer."