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Joke of the Day

"-What should we name this creature w/ big feet? ""Bigfoot"" -And this w/ saber teeth? ""Sabertooth"" -And this beaverduck? ""Platypus"" -wtf dude"

"I remember the first time I used a Universal Remote Control I thought to myself: ""Well, this changes everything."""

"Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear rug on his floor. The bear isn't actually dead. It's just too afraid to move."

"What does the man say when he walks into the bar? ""Can I please get a drink?"""

"What do you call someone who thinks Vikings are the best? a Norsissist."

"I saw a homeless man I know on a bicycle Guess he's mobile homeless"

"Dates are like golf strokes The fewer it takes for you to score, the better your game."

"there's a pile of shoes by the door and you're looking for the pair that will be the quietest for when you leave"

"Social Security. Get it? You will when you're 65."

"Do you really have to be skinny to wear skinny jeans or can you be a big fat giant monster? (asking for my big fat friend, Colleen)."