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Joke of the Day

"""Remember Robert from work?"" Yeah..he was a douche. ""He died."" WHAT?!? OMG..He was such a nice guy!"

"Movie theaters do not explicitly prohibit saxophones during showtime so feel free to play your saxophones during showtime"

"Why did OP get fired from his job as a mailman? He never delivered."

"Don't date men who will hold open a door for you. Date men who will punch a squirrel in the face for chittering it's teeth at you."

"What do you get when you drop a piano on a toddler? A flat minor"

"Why do the Japanese have squinty eyes? Becuase atomic bombs are bright."

"Have you seen www.quasimodo.com? I'm not sure but certainly rings a bell."

"What happened to the two ants who got into a fight on a toilet seat? They got pissed off."

"Q: What's the difference between God and fighter pilots? A: God doesn't think he's a fighter pilot."

"What did you learn in school today? Not enough I have to go back tomorrow!"