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Joke of the Day

"""Remember Robert from work?"" Yeah..he was a douche. ""He died."" WHAT?!? OMG..He was such a nice guy!"

"Laughing Octopus Q:How many tickles would it take to make an octopus laugh? A:Ten"

"Never sure of the differences between a crocodile, an alligator, and a staple remover."

"Being bummed that you finished your sandwich only to remember that you haven't even taken a bite of it yet must be what Heaven is."

"I'm not ""Mr Right"" but I'll do freaky stuff to you till he shows up."

"Pregnancy is like a black ops mission They're both expensive to abort."

"How many Freudians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the light bulb, and one to hold the penis. I mean the ladder. One to hold the ladder."

"Well, I've been clean 6 days now. This 'showering' thing is amazing."

"So cats CAN'T fend for themselves for 4 weeks after all. Even though I left mini frozen pizzas, cash for emergencies and my mobile number."

"There are three types of people in this world Those who can count And those who cannot count"