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Joke of the Day

"Laughing Octopus Q:How many tickles would it take to make an octopus laugh? A:Ten"

"I have decided to start a strict vegetarian diet Starting tonight I will enjoy a nice thick steak. Cows are the most delicious of the strict vegetarians"

"Whats the difference between a bitch and a whore? A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps with everyone at the party except you."

"What do you call a guy who hangs out with a bunch of musicians? A drummer."

"Change is hard, especially the nickel."

"this is ur brain *an egg* this is drugs *a frying pan* this is ur brain on drugs *egg & frying pan wearing sunglasses*"

"What did the pro bono plastic surgeon say to their patient on Dec 31st? Happy new ears Eve!"

"If you're hitting the gas every time she tries to open the passenger side door, remember, the 8th time is always the funniest."

"I never buy a new couch without first seeing what it looks like with five loads of laundry piled on top of it."

"I sleep better naked and it's more comfortable WHY CAN'T THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT UNDERSTAND THIS?"