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Joke of the Day

"tell me tbe ""the aristocrats"" joke Can someone tell me a good version of the aristocrats joke I'm trying to tell my friend but kinda mutilated it"

"Dyslexia cost me my job in IT Turns out my boss wanted me to unzip his 'files"

"4 y/o: how does Santa go to everyone's house in one night me: warp speed 4 y/o: warp speed isn't real me: neither is Santa go to sleep"

"My best friend swore up and down that he would stop taking credit for my accomplishments. Then today he called me to brag that he got his wife pregnant."

"""Hey man, the hot girl from class winked at me today!"" ""Really, bro?"" ""Yeah, with both eyes too!"""

"Damn girl, are you my cable remote? Because you are weirdly designed and very confusing, and does this row of buttons even do anything?"

"all the sexy dinosaurs went extinct during the flirtatious period"

"Who has to always be on there toes? A midget at a urinal."

"Police are on the lookout for a magician dwarf who escaped prison. They're looking for a small medium at large."

"I wish you were on the football team because I'd love to see your backfield in motion."