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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between jam and marmalade? I can't marmalade my cock into my girlfriend's arse"

"Why is PC the mustard race? Because consoles can't ketchup."

"I finished my culinary class final. It was a piece of cake."

"Why are suicide kits so hard to sell on Amazon? They never have positive reviews."

"If I were a homeless guy, I'd walk up behind young women, put my arm around them & cop a feel on a boob because I have nothing to lose."

"What did the runaway melon say to the honeydew on Valentine's Day? I cantaloupe."

"Some Warning Labels are a little retarded, like on my Deodorant it says, ""Avoid Contact with Eyes""....TOO LATE, I've already seen it!!!"

"Why did the hipster burn his tongue on his coffee? He drank it before it was cool."

"If I had a fake leg it would be a see-thru plastic one full of jelly beans and I'd only charge kids a dime for a handful like the old days."

"Who is Ed McMahon's favorite Japanese Filmmaker? Hiyooooo Miyazaki."