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Joke of the Day

"Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Ba dum tss."

"My ""Savings Account"" is just several pairs of unwashed jeans on the floor that may or may not still have change in the pockets."

"What is the Sun's favorite type of music? Sol."

"A blonde a brunette and Ellen Pao walk into a bar... This content has been censored by Ellen Pao because it was harassing her personal interests"

"Where is tennis mentioned in the Bible? Where Joseph served in Pharaoh's court."

"The good thing about having a lot of followers is that for every thousand there's about one who actually reads your tweets."

"After 20 years of marriage, my wife still makes me smile. Usually at family gatherings where she threatens me if I don't look happy."

"What do you call a scientific measuring instrument with degrees? A graduated cylinder. -------------------------------------------------------------------- This is the only joke I've ever thought of."

"pessimist vs optimist (x-post from funny) The pessimist says, It can't get any worse!' And the optimist replies, Oh yes it can!"

"How do you quiet a gay baby? Stick a pacifier up its ass"