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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an engineer who looks at other people's shoes when walking? Extroverted"

"Job interview: "" if you want the job lick the floor"" -what? -lick the floor if you want the job *licks floor* Eww gross, can't hire that guy"

"How did Darth Vader know what Leah got Luke for Christmas? He felt his presents."

"I was going to tell you a time-travel joke... ... but someone reposted it, so you will hear it then."

"What's the opposite of Christopher Walken? Christopher Reeves"

"ME:*lying*omg i have an identical twin too DATE:wow we should all meet up [cut to us at a house of mirrors] DATE: your brother is quiet"

"There once was a soldier named Private Acid HQ called him back. When he got to home base, he was found neutralized."

"I went to a nightclub the other evening and saw a topless ventriloquist. She was really good. I never saw her lips move."

"The question isn't at what age I want to retire, it's at what income."

"What's the difference between bullets and everyone? Everyone misses Harambe."