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Joke of the Day

"ME:*lying*omg i have an identical twin too DATE:wow we should all meet up [cut to us at a house of mirrors] DATE: your brother is quiet"

"After nearly three months of trying... ...my wife just told me that she's pregnant!! She has the worst stutter ever!"

"Why don't ghosts play sports? Boo!"

"What's the difference between being hungry and horny? Where you put the cucumber in"

"Did you hear about the kid who fixed the Internet? The Internet: 7/10 The Internet with Rice: 10/10"

"How do you spot a blind guy at a nude beach? It isn't hard"

"I used to think an ocean of soda existed... but it was just a Fanta sea!"

"the racists in this town are so proud of their lack of pigmentation you'd think they had actually chose it themselves :)"

"I used to be a plastic surgeon. Which raised a few eyebrows. (Credits: Stewart Francis. Look him up, this guy is hilarious)"

"What did the Trump supporting viticulturist say Monday morning? Time to make America Grapes Again."